If you are new to leading groups of this sort, I would recommend proper preparation. A few days before, write out a rough schedule of what you want to do. Then talk it through to yourself and make notes of any points at which it might not flow, and any resources it would be good to have. Print out any readings or prayers you want to use. Maybe have a cheat sheet of handy questions to get the discussion going.
Here’s an outline you might follow:
7.45-8pm. Arrivals. Make sure everyone has whatever refreshments they need, feels comfortable, has their phone off. This might start earlier and take longer if you are offering a meal.
8pm. Opening prayer. This can be quite short. We ask God to be present. Of course, God is always present. But it’s polite to ask. And if we ask, we also remind ourselves. If you are ok with extemporary prayer, go for it. Or you might want to print out a Collect.
And of course, you can use silence as part of this time of prayer – however do please have a way to draw the silence to a close. For example, “let’s take a few moments of silence to lift up this evening to God, and at the end I will draw our prayers together by praying the Collect for the first Sunday of Lent.” Then give it a minute or two and pray the Collect.
8.05. Check in. How is everyone? Ask people to share anything they would like to about what’s been going on in their lives since you last met. Affirm one another. Listen.
8.15. Reading. Summarise where we are up to and ask people to say what they are making of it. “So, we’ve been reading chapters X to Y. Does anyone want to share something that’s struck them about what they’ve been reading, something that was new, helpful, baffling, annoying?”
Be brave enough to leave space for people to gather their thoughts. Leave longer than you think necessary. Remember, time is passing slower for you than for others, because you are concentrating and perhaps a bit nervous, so if it feels to you that the silence is really dragging, it’ll be about right for everyone else.
If the conversation really does languish, or if you feel it’s wandering from the point, bring in one of the “Questions for reflection” that come with each chapter. You could also use some of the prompts to discussion provided in the weekly prompt sheets. Naturally, no need to keep rigidly to time – if the discussion is good, let it run, or move on early if there’s really nothing to be said (but again, resist the nervous temptation to fill or curtail silence).
8.45. Reflecting on silence. Remind everyone that the key to following the book is not the reading but the time of silence. Have we all been doing this? “So, as well as the reading, we’re now all up to X minutes of silence a day. What has that been like for you? Who’d like to share something?” Again, some prompts to challenge people to reflect are here.
9.00. Anything else? As you are coming to the end of your time together you want everyone to be ready to enter peacefully into silence and prayer. This is a moment when people often come up with last minute observations or questions. Make sure there’s time for these. “Before we move to our time of silence / prayer, has anyone got any last thing they want to share?” You could also use this time to confirm arrangements for when you are meeting next, the reading people need to be doing, and so on.
9.10. Silence and Concluding Prayer. At this point you can simply have a time of silence, for the number of minutes you’re up to in the book. If you do that, then please come up with a suitable prayerful way to draw it to a close. For example “So let’s conclude with a time of silence together and at the end I will lead us in saying the Grace.” Then you keep time (which will mean you aren’t quite having your own listening time) and at the end begin “So now may the Grace of our Lord…” and everyone will join in. Except of course you have to choose a prayer you know everyone knows.
Or you could integrate silence into a more extended time of prayer. In that case choose one of the forms of prayer provided, or prepare your own. This then has a slot within it that holds the silence. Either way, before you begin, it would be worth running through the “pre-flight checks” in each of the weekly prompt sheets – things to remind people of before they start their listening.
There are some suggestions about all this here.
Finally the evening comes to a conclusion and people depart as they wish – ideally holding the silence a bit, so long as that’s compatible with being friendly.
Season of Silence 